When Everything Stops

I saw three really sad things this evening. This world has become so numb, so apathetic to anyone in suffering, it disgusts me. Maybe i'm just overly sensitive. First I watched "Philadelphia" with my mom, because she had heard it was a "great drama". oh, yea, great depressing drama. Tom Hanks is Andrew, who is gay and has AIDS. He dies. I cried. Then, when I went to meet my dad, the parking lot we meet in was selling christmas trees, and they had a Petting Zoo. Now who in their right mind puts little animals in a flimsy tent outside, in the winter at night? I couldn't even look at it, I felt so terrible. And then, to top it all off, I find Rodney, my squirrel, dead in the yard! :( Poor Rodney :(. I feel terrible for him, too. I must say that most people today take so many things for granted. Not the suffering, no, they appreciate. But us, those who have no more troubles than a fight at school or with parents, or a disappointment when they don't get their frigging new gadget when they want it. What about all the innocent children who die because they've never had enough to eat? They've never gone to school. They've never rode in a car. They've never gone to the mall, done anything fun. Some of them might not even have parents around anymore. What about all the animals that suffer abuse and neglect at the hands of negligent, worthless, scum sucking lowlife owners? This world makes me sick. I just have to remind myself that Tom Hanks is not dead, nor does he have AIDS. The little animals at the winter petting zoo all have big warm parkas, and Rodney died at a good old age. Rest In Peace, Rodney.

relatively clear mind

i went out and bought arcade fire's first cd "Funeral" the other day...great piece of music, don't get me wrong, but i was throughly disappointed to not find either two of my favorite songs, "Oldflame" and "Cars and Telephones". this of course, because i did not look at the track list. come to find out, those songs belong on a self-titled EP released in 2003. shame shame =/. i'll be moving out either the second or third week in december, i'm not sure yet. it depends on how long my dad is gonna have me stick around. i thoroughly enjoy not going to school...didn't go today, and i got about 5x as much done as i would've if i had gone. i think i finally know what college i'm going to attend, too. port clinton highschool offers PSOs at the Firelands BGSU campus in Huron. thus, i plan to attend as many classes as possible my senior year, and then finish up at either that campus, or the one in BG. so i'm pretty happy about that, i've never really had a plan when it came to college. i guess now i do. btw, if anyone wants to get me an iPod, that'd be awesome...i have to find a way to save all my music when i move out and leave this computer. i was in detroit the other night in a restaurant, and we walked out and huge, pretty snowflakes were coming down. i must admit, snow is beautiful. if the weather is going to insist on it being so freezing cold, it might as well snow. too bad it hasn't yet here in ohio. i watched that movie "lady in the water" today. never watched it initially, cause i was told it was a bummer. i actually thought it pretty neat. that could be because i have a thing for beautiful, mythological women and paul giamatti. (would be sad if that weren't the correct spelling of his last name, so please don't ridicule me if i'm incorrect, i'm too lazy to look it up at the moment). oh, yea. i'm gonna post an episode of Salad Fingers on here. just thinking about it makes me shiver, that weird green being. ha.

*blank*

sometimes growing up isn't fun. for about a year, i had a huge, great group of close-knit friends. we did everything together. then all of a sudden it was over. i moved away, one ended up in jail, another left completely, and everybody moved out into the real world, with jobs and college. heck, i don't even have my license yet, although i'm almost a year overdue for it. it's just not fun getting left behind. this weekend blew, i was stuck at home...i never go out and do things anymore, i live too far away from anybody. and even if i did have somebody to drive me around, it wouldn't matter, because those friends never hang out anymore. i'm pretty sure my whole life consists of doing dishes three times a day, and laundry, and sitting at my computer. *sigh*. ah well.

Pressure, pt 1

clouds hanging above the ground.
thin and flat, skin covering its earthen flesh.
suspended, heavy.
lowering the weight onto my chest.

mmm

So new York was awesome. I had a great time. I think the memories are even better than actually being there was. My favorite part of new york would have to be times square at night. it was busy, and crazy. overall, amazing. the best part of the trip was definetly virginia though. i LOVED old town in alexandria. just me and the people i wanted to be with discovered it...walking down the brick sidewalks at night, wonderful restaurants, quiet, and nostalgic. *sigh*. i want to go back. so bad. someday =] many wonderful things "someday", i hope. school has sucked lately, so much work. done for now though, i think. did the best i could. listening to the arcade fire, feeling dreamy. don't have time to write more for now. goodbye.