pointless

There really is no point to me writing anything right now, my mind is blank. i gotta stop staying up so late, i end up sleeping till twelve, and then feel quite unproductive. i've realized something. i'm a terrible friend and family member. it kills me to think about it, because it makes me feel bad. but, the fact still remains, i suck at having relationships. there are a few select people i keep in touch with. i can count.....two? yes. two. i live with my father full time, and i don't even keep in touch with my mom regularly, and she's my mom. i never see or talk to my grandparents, outside of the times that we run into eachother, and i know it makes them sad. yet, why do i not call? why don't i send a card? write an email? ANYTHING. here's another example. i used to go to school with a few people who i was really close to. one girl named morgan, in particular, was one of my best friends. wonderful, sweet girl. after i moved, she called me continually. i rarely ever returned her calls, and i was never the one to call her first. i think she eventually gave up, as her number doesn't show up on my caller ID anymore. what's wrong with me? it's not like i don't want to keep in touch with people. i just don't.