i think i've developed a bad attitude lately...become a jerk, maybe. too sure of myself, stuck up. especially when it comes to school. i feel i'm being treated like a six year old. it makes me angry. i've lost just about all patience with anybody. i'm not sure if my current relationship is going to hold out. i'm sick of dealing with people's crap. when i'm not around one of my friends at school (a.k.a. nick or brandon, and occasionally other persons), i'm ready to kill someone. i'm not sure if i just need to adjust my attitude, or i have a right to be like this. i certainly have developed an "independant spirit", and i need to tone it down a bit. but how? and why did i get like this? maybe it's a know-it-all teenager stage. lol. i just want to go away from it all. be around people who are laid back, comforting, and understanding. i hate how complicated people make things. or maybe i'm the one complicating them, i dunno...and i feel that no matter how hard i try, no one's ever satisfied. i find out that my school doesn't think i "challenged" myself last year, when i worked my butt off. i'm constantly trying to make members of my family happy, and they just continually get upset with me. just want to get out.
currently listening to: Brand New Colony---The Postal Service
I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day
I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped straight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold
I want to take you far from the cynics in this town
And kiss you on the mouth
We'll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
The sun will hear the grounds
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony
Everything will change, oOo oOo...
1 comment:
There is nothing wrong with trying to devolpe independance. Who's crap are you being forced to deal with? (not mine I hope!)
I feel special to be recognized in one of your blogs...
Working hard, and not being recognized for what you've done is one of the most frusterating feelings there is. I have had a similar feeling lately, just in a different area of my life.
If you seriously need to get out, my offer for both Toronto and Sacramento still stand. I hope things at home cool down for you...
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