i don't know as much as i thought i did

so i'm getting pretty good at this rejection thing. it's quite simple really. "no, no, no, and...no." that's just about how it goes. a nice friend finally built up the courage to ask me out today, and of course, i turned him down. i'm just not looking right now i guess. or am i? i'm also starting to realise that i've never had a normal relationship, nor have i entered a relationship in a normal fashion. which is kinda bad, considering i've had two serious relationships so far. i'm really bad at this whole relationship thing. i need to learn how to have a normal relationship. either that, or i'll be single for the rest of my life. which, honestly, does not sound half bad. today i found the technical term for having a phobia of getting married, but unfortunately i forget what it is. marriage really does not seem that appealing now-a-days. it used to. i don't think i even want a relationship. haha. reminds me a of a 'how to deal' scene. macon asks halley out on a date, and she says she thinks she already likes him too much to actually go out with him. "What kind of logic is that?" he asks. "Well, it's logical logic. Haven't you noticed? When two members of the opposite sex get together, eventually someone ends up getting hurt?" oh-so-true.