crazy women

so sylvia plath scares me...she really does. i mean, she's dead, but she freaks me out. the more i read her poems, the more i like them. they're just what i would write if i had any talent. and then comes her novel 'the bell jar'. i'm over half way through it, but i'm not sure i want to finish. it's all about a girl named esther who's about 22, living in the 50s. although she's very smart and has a lot of college scholarships and other great opportunities in her life, she somehow slips into insanity. (and i would assume that she'll atleast attempt suicide later in the book). this mirrors sylvia plath's own life, which mirrors mine. (sidenote: for one thing, if i could choose any decade to live in, it'd definetly be the 50s. lol) in real life, sylvia lived in the 50s. i think anne sexton lived around that time too, another great woman poet, in my opinion. i have so many similar feelings and thoughts to these women. or maybe i just like dark, tortured people. thing is, they both killed themselves. i wish i were alive back then to talk to sylvia, maybe i could make some sense of myself. maybe i could be her friend, and convince her to keep living. maybe i'd just end up going crazy with her. sometimes i worry that that'll be my fate as well.